Coronavirus Party Required for Granny

We recommend that you should do your utmost to get your Granny infected now!

Old People Partying

The UK Government’s strategy for coronavirus is to resignedly accept that around 80% of people here will catch it. We know that approximately 1% of those infected will die from the disease. This is an awful, terrible number of people.

However, it has been decided that instead of trying to prevent people from becoming infected, the answer is to delay the spread of infection so that the peak is later and more spread out. In this way, the NHS will have more time to prepare for the rise in demand, and the maximum number of intensive care beds needed will be lower, albeit for a longer period.

Looking at the statistics, most people will be infected, and the bulk of those infections will happen over the summer, when the NHS is fully stretched – and then some – trying to cope with the numbers. The last thing you should be doing is to risk catching it at the same time as everyone else.

So the answer is to get the vulnerable infected now, whilst plenty of spaces are available in intensive care. Why wait until the ICU’s are full to bursting and you might be receiving treatment in a corridor? Get in early.

Coronavirus Parties

Did your Mum take you to a chicken-pox party when you were a child, inflicting an unpleasant, itchy disease on you “for your own good”? Well now is your chance for payback. Ship her out of that old-folks’ home and get her into pubs, clubs, football matches, even the Houses of Parliament. This way, she will be infected and treated before the rush!

You read it here first – now get out there and infect the old and vulnerable people in your life!

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